Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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