Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
