god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
