every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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