So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
NoShamevember. You game?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
