Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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