Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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