i was born a porn star she said
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
