You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
