Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
