she woke up with a sticky ear
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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