i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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