R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it glows. i had to have it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
