problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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