non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
