He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
