I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
