What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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