This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
