Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Damn victory sex feels great
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
