Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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