"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
