You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
