So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
