You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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