Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
