I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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