Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
