If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
