you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
