Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
