I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
