Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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