I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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