she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
