What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
