what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
