Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
