idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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