We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
