dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
