Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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