that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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