I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
