Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
