how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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