He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize