Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Still dying that you shit outside
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i now understand why vodka
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
