One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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