no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
