where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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