I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
